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Author: Subject: Rare Money Making Opportunity! Due To My Sudden Lactation
one-inch-punch
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[*] posted on 8-11-2004 at 03:08 AM
Rare Money Making Opportunity! Due To My Sudden Lactation


i've just been out shopping, and the whole time there and back on the bus my nipples were all kinda sore and weird feeling. so i'm like 'what, i haven't even been pinching them or anything', i go to the bathroom and take my shirt off and there's nothing out of place. but THEN i sort of squeezed one of nipples and this jet of liquid spurted out, like a spray!



so next thing i'm squeezing both of them and this milky liquid is shooting like crazy all over the mirror and the bathroom floor and i feel all lightheaded like what the fuck is going on. i bring my fingers up to my face and sniff, smells kinda funky, so i have a little taste, and i'll be fucked if it doesn't taste pretty good! a few more squeezes and i'm scooping a little handful into my mouth. fuckin hell, it's better than good it's amazing!

yes, i know you're thinking 'biologically and according to God's Rules what you are describing is not possible!?'

BUT I ASSURE YOU IT IS



anyway i've just got back out of there (bathroom), it's still kinda leaking a little bit and i'm pretty fucking worn out but i'm wearing three t-shirts which soak it all up. the way i see it i've got a few options from here:

1. see how long i can survive drinking only my own body fluids.
2. solder my nipples closed.
3. sell my hot mammary-liquid on the internet.

does anyone want to buy some, and what do you think a reasonable price is. i've bashed up a product description:

NAME: To Be Confirmed / 'Captain Fantastic Health Juice'?
DESCRIPTION: Milky Liquid From My Tits
TASTE: Refreshing / Fizzy
HEALTH BENEFITS: To Be Confirmed / Probably Many
PRICE: To Be Confirmed / Offers Considered

i'll just be hanging around waiting, but i'm getting pretty sore and i feela bit drunk almost? still, i think this can be a winner if we all try and pull together and stuff!

Business Plan
--------------------

Step One


Step Two


Step Three!


this might not last for ever so the key is to get in QUICK and on the GROUND FLOOR.

ps please don't tell anyone about this

pps particularly any news media organisations [CNN, Local Papers, 'blog'] OR ESPECIALLY competitors in the dairy 'industry'.




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Jobe
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[*] posted on 8-11-2004 at 03:18 AM


Okay I'm in.

I can help you make the most of your fluid.

I'll get started on a competitive analysis of the lactated beverage market and develop a strategy and strategic vision for the company.

You should find someone who is a good speaker and/or rap singer to give the presentations of the business plan to venture capitalists.




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[*] posted on 9-11-2004 at 03:50 AM


jobe, i believe you have the nous to carry this off. do you think the main competition will come from traditional cow's milk or more exotic variants like bird's milk.

also, please send me fourteen hundred australian dollars start up costs / licencing fee.

i can't believe more cunts aren't getting in on this, stupid cunts.




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[*] posted on 9-11-2004 at 09:52 AM


What type of consumer to you intend to target?

Personnally I see much potential growth in the 14-26 year emo market segment. Clearly from the lack of replies to this thread, the rap market is full of late adopters and even laggards. I feel the emo market is a wise option seeing as emoites often cry and whine about how they miss sucking from their mothers tits.

This market is completly untapped and I think a great sponsor group would be the alkaline trio.



However, the brand image is up to you
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[*] posted on 9-11-2004 at 09:56 AM


:frog:
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[*] posted on 9-11-2004 at 01:15 PM


I'm stunned that only 3 people are interested in this. Just like phats said, hip hop fans are laggards. Where are my early-adopters? Surely there is more than 3.

Punchy, cheque is in the mail. In regards to your question, I think the market research and analysis is indicating that we should target fat people. They always eat stuff, right? We can also begin by targeting the emo niche within the segment, then expand our operations if your liquids keep coming.




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[*] posted on 9-11-2004 at 01:20 PM


Now that I know Jobe and OIP are involvd in this scheme, I would be more than happy to be involved with the marketing team somehow...

Possibly by designing the website.




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[*] posted on 9-11-2004 at 01:22 PM


im down......... with nipples:baby:



Beyond the great vast forest, surrounded by majestic mountains, dark rivers float like tears of sorrow. Frost submerge the holy ring of fire. They shall rise again, for they are of Him.... The Dark Lord of eternity\'s. These are the Devils of Darkness. They can not be laid to rest forever. Resurrection... They shall haunt again, the creatures of the night \"Phantom der nacht\" Blood is life. Their art of death is infernal, like their life eternal. See the castel so proud, but yet so grey and cold. The frost submerge. The moon is on the rise. Hear the nocturnal howling of the wolves... the children of the night. They shall rise again, resurrected through our gathering of the ancient and evil. In the name of the almighty Emperor they shall rise and forever wander the land beyond the great vast forest.
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